Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I have been so encouraged. since my last post we decided to sit down in the evenings and have a prayer and study time with the kids. it went so well I had to be amazed not only encouraged.

The children actually came and asked if they could read to us because a cool book '50 of the Wierdest Bible Stories' had given them half the story and they had to read the other half from the bible.

We all sat down and hence were able to do the study that we had planned for the period from Christmas day through the 6th Jan.
We decided we would use the Catholic song 'The Twelve Nights of Christmas' .... My true love sent to me...

It has been a fruitful study and well recomended to anyone.

Monday, December 28, 2009

The children have been taken up their aunts and so we are left with baby mima and a messy messy house. We have taken time to tidy and to sort out the finances.

We have debts that we are trying very lazily to sort out and this year really needs to be the year we get it sorted. It is not that we spend too much it is that we purchase things without planning and saving and this includes things like the window replacements, kitchen etc when we were moving house.

We have also realised that we have not had the time to sit down together and really sort out where we want things to go and how we are getting things done. We seemt o just let life take us along its path and then hope that we can bring the children up in a way that is not too far from our hopes for them.

We have realised that this is really not working and we need to come up with a better plan.
stand strong on a decision especially if we feel the Holy Spirit is guiding that decision... Recognise that we need to pray as we make decisions where we feel the Holy Spirit maybe involved.

Have regular times for family prayer and Sabbath as we have been sporadic.

Ensure that the kids both study each evening and we are involved with their studies.

have a regular meal plan to save money

spend more time having fun with the kids

pocket money and banking plans

Saturday, December 26, 2009

I did a talk for the crib service which did not go as I had planned. But I can only hope that for some a message sparked a thought which God may prick for his glory.

I need to practice talking and doing 'sermons' but it is difficult to get time. I wonder how others do this. I feel that with time and practice I will be ok, which is a good thing!

This is what I hope actually came across:What was actually said:

We have made these lanterns and they can hopefully hang on your Christmas trees as a reminder of what we have been thinking about this evening. We hope that the Light of Jesus, the light that Jesus can give our lives will be with us this Christmas.

It can get so busy with making the Christmas dinner, the clearing up, the snacks and all the other things that go on with all the stress that we end up not having the Joy and the peace we hoped and looked forward to all this time. We gear up for this one day and then it passes without us actually having any peace or joy, we miss the kids opening their presents.

We hope really that you as families will support and help each other this Christmas so that you can spend time together. Jesus is that light that can help and be there with you even if you are spending Christmas alone, no matter what stresses or what Christmas may be for you this year we hope that– the real meaning of Christmas, the life and light of Jesus, will be with you.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

When we were in Norhtern Ireland we were guided by God we feel to read the Old Testament in the light of its meaning to the Jews. So we spent time trying to discover what meaning the Jewish people took from books, chapters and verses.

It was a wondrful time and what we learned will continue to be our aim and foundation in our family life.

The Sabbath being one of the most cherished parts of our week.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Asher and I have been talking tonight as I was asked by the DDO what would your gospel message be if someone asked. My reply was I don't have a gospel message as such.

This is because i feel that it is not my gospel message it is God who has a message and we are those who know and love him. So my message has to be that which God is speaking. And to whom I am speaking.

So I think that as asher said if someone asks this of you your best answer is 'I am my gospel message. I do not have my gospel message as I am not God. It cannot be my message and though I am a rough picture and one in the making I am part of Gods gospel message.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Asher and I are thinking over our times in the various places that we have lived and worshipped.

something I want to really remember is that:

we enjoyed being part of the Baptist fellowship so much. One aspect I really appreciated while with them is that they always approached the family rather than the individual in a family.

I thank the Baptist fellowship so much for all they have gaven us in the different areas of the country in which have lived. I hope to take all they have given us and hope to continue to reflect on what we have learnt.

Creativity
Children's work
prophecy
fellowship
preaching
women in ministry
activity of all members in life of church in community.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Not getting to church today I read through in the Church times by Martin Warner. he mentions that the media are able to judge people without actually taking responsibility for their words face to face.

I am placing this into the context of the family, both extended and nuclear. We can find the family situation either a wonderful and blessed haven or a tense and fragile see-saw. Perhaps part of the makeup of families is that our human desire to judge is so raw with those who know us so well. From my experience family members though they do know you well often miss very important aspects of our character and make up.

Perhaps is is partly this that moves us to judge and allow our opinions and 'wisdom' be known.

Jesus said about his own family 'I do not have a family' he said about his good friend 'get behind me satan'. He certainly did not mix his words. Of course we need to watch what we say and when we say it but surely then it is our behaviour also that needs to be slow and kind and respectful especially around family. Hard though it may be it is a lesson I need to learn.

Judge as others would judge you.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


The Mahmoods:
Thank you to Badri and Ruhamah for hospitality and care.
with love

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

An experience vs Being Quietly Bold

I went to a coffee shop this week that I thought was going to have some Christian books. I went to look for Christmas gifts. It was a shame that though I think it was christian run there were no christian books it was all rather materialistic useless stuff. It got me thinking how often we dub down our faith so that people will 'enter'.

It reminds me of 'Why Go To Church' somewhere Radcliffe mentions that our society is now an 'experience' culture. We do not just go shopping we want a 'shopping experience'. When thinking like this how easy is it for us to try and get an 'experience' for people.

I am suddenly faced with a myriad of ideas for events things I would love to do but then I realise that this is not what I would like to produce at all. In fact I realise that if I were a producer then perhaps I would try but as it is I am best in my lounge praying and learning about how I can be bold from my own faith and experience rather than trying to meet a need in a culture that I am not sure is a lasting trend.

Whether it a lasting trend or not I feel that to be quietly bold and ready to spend time with people is better than producing 'experiences' that attract people.

Friday, October 09, 2009


I have always found it very odd that Christians look at nature and consider that its awesomeness reflects God and that in turn tells everyone about God. I have just not connected with this idea at all. Yes I delight in nature and as a Christian I give joy and thanks to God and perhaps with some effort I could meditate and find God in everything. But to think that nature thus tells everyone about God and that somehow they deny God because they know him through nature just does not resonate with me at all.

I once went to a led quiet day where the leader used photos and facts about cells to help us wonder at God.. This was an amazing day and helped me but I still do not see that it would necessarily help a non believer/non christian (or what ever one may label ones self as) believe or recognise God.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

As Christians look at nature and worship God for creation, perhaps then we worship the wonderfully created human being. My concern then it is that it is easy to sit back and view ourselves as a wonderfully created beings and in doing this we are able to fact loose the reality of human nature and the responsibility we can very easily set aside.
How does my life reflect something different that others recognise as something, attractive and perhaps from God or inspired by God?

Not only this but if my life does reflect something different then does this inspire in others a strong enough reaction that they want to dig deeper?

To be very honest I have to answer I don't think so.

Yes people may sometimes see something that is attractive and different, but it is not deep enough or consistent enough that it is inspiring.

I suppose then this has to be my prayer and my challenge - that God will mould me and make me into something that he has designed.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Spirituality

Asher and I were discussing spirituality and we came to a picture of a room with different walls.

The corner which holds each wall represents God one wall represents the dimension of ministry which focuses on those outside of the church and the other wall represents those within the church.

If a ministers focus is on those outside the church then surely they could be church army, evangelist, lay worker and if their focus is on those within the church then they could be sunday school workers, reader or LMN.

A vicar needs to be more focused on God and have an ability to encourage and equip congregations in their giftings and interests.

I realise this is a very simplistic outlook or way of putting things but this is the basic outline of our conversation and thought.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Spirituality

Space
I have begun to use the end of day feeding time as my space for prayer. This time is quiet and everyone remembers that we really want baby to sleep so they are all mindful of staying out of my way! So this is a safe time for me to pray.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Spirituality

Thinking about my spirituality I have been realising that although my prayer life may not be perfect. Though I may not be settled in my routine or style of spirituality my whole life is focused toward and within and around God.

Even the question of why God and what is God are continually encompassed within my being.


This is why to work in anything other than the church drives me into areas where I do not seem able to function to the best for those around me or for myself. My skills are not utilized and I continually engage with how I might be able to bring the church into a place where these people might utilize and engage with it.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Prayer
Spirituality

In a book I am reading 'Being a Priest Today' here is a quote:

'There is no way round the fact that if we want a life of prayer

then the only way to achieve it is by praying.'

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Spirituality

I have been thinking more about how I can begin to pray and find my space with God and why I am finding this so difficult at the moment.

I am realising that I am a creative person and when I pray with others there are opportunities to be creative. We had an accompanied prayer week in which a variety of creative projects were available for us to use during the open times. At each period I discovered that my mind really soaked up the creative opportunity and I found myself reaching into a mental arena that I had not expected.

I wonder if perhaps I need to begin being creative in my prayer life somehow.

Monday, July 20, 2009

"Spirituality has to do with our experiencing of God and with the transformation of our consciousness and our lives as outcomes of that experience" - Richard O'Brien, in Catholicism, p. 1058

transforming

What are the ways in which I find my life continuing to be transformed because of the experience I have of God?

At the moment I find this difficult. But as the months go on I hope that I will find windows where the light is beginning to shine through because at the moment the more I rub the dirty glass I find I am just smudging the dirt in more. Maybe I need a new cloth but I am just not sure what will work.

This has helped me to realise that I am not patient. If one thing does not work I do not work at it or methodically try things out. I just give up and wait for something to come along that does work and for that dirt to rub out on its own.

I need discipline.
I need discipline.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Spirituality

Being spiritual is using a dictionary.com definition: closely akin in interests, attitude, outlook, etc.

When I make a new friend and we begin to get close and discover our interests are similar there are really special moments which I really enjoy.

The honeymoon period of being a Christian! This is often a period that people speak of as one which we look back on with abandonment and sheer joy in the 'spiritual' sense. I still experience moments of this joy as I grow in my faith. Because each time I realise that I have the same interests as an amazing and kindly God... It is sheer joy.

Thursday, July 16, 2009


Spirituality
Prayer is an area of spirituality that I feel drawn to very deeply.

When i was at university (in 1994) there was a call for people who had felt called, during a conference, to receive the gift of intercession to stand. I did feel called but my neighbour stood and he was one of those guys, you just knew would stand and so being me I did not stand. The leaders then asked for others sitting nearby one of those called to stand and pray for them. So I felt I should stand and ask God to bless him either way. Well I remember that as I was praying I felt a blessing a definite sensation and as I prayed I wondered if this was for me or whether it was for this guy. So I prayed if it was for me then the desire and leading to intercede would continue over the years.

Since this time I cannot say that I have entered into the ministry of intercessor but the reminder is always there and I have at times interceded in very powerful ways. I think actually there is confession that I have to own if I am to consider my way faithfully.

It is that while in groups I feel very comfortable praying there are times that I feel that to enter into prayer individually can be a very dangerous thing to do.

It seems to me that to pray is believe and to believe is to place oneself in a dilemma.


Either one ignores the whole spiritual world and thus will never get the whole picture or one has to face the issues head on and that perhaps that means stepping into something that is beyond our control and is worrying for each individual in different ways.

I always feel that if I pray I am placing my family in danger. This has always been my fear since I gave birth to my oldest who is now 11.
This post has gone on a while so I end with an encouraging note to myself:

Psalm 23

1 THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.

2 He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters.(A)

3 He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake.

4 Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with [a] oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.

6 Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.

Spirituality

Called to reflect - seek - strive - show/shine

Now I know these words can also come under the heading of spirituality?
Surely in many ways there is an outward dimension to Spirituality aswell as the inward. What I mean is when we reflect with others we often discover more or different things than when we are alone. When we seek we inspire others to seek also. If we strive we discover that others are striving also and we discover we are on a journey with others. When we do all this we want to show and naturally shine (if humility is part of the equation!)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I was speaking with the DDO and when he asked me about my spirituality I immediately thought of Celtic Spirituality. I have really enjoyed many of the prayers that have been used during communions and quiet days.

I think it is the simplicity of the prayers and songs and also the trinitarian feel for the songs and prayers.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Spirituality
Life of solitude

1. What helps you keep to keep focused and draw near to God and his ways.
2. What feeds your soul and lifts your spirit
3. What enables you to keep in tune with the Holy Spirit.


Right after a few days of not being able to read the Bible I have found time to think during this period and remember that I used to find that I would feel an incling to go and read the Bible or read a particular book and when i did follow that urge it was as if forces moved to confirm my action and I would feel blessed and encouraged by what I read.

I remember that often I would find that my reading would in someway be useful in a meeting I would chance upon or I would find that a question would be sparked that I would continue to learn about or think about and then discuss with others.

So I think an answer to what for all three has to be : following an instinct to read, pray or worship in song.

I do not find that I am 'fed' at church services necessarily, I do find that I enjoy homegroups or personal meetings with people. I do find that my home life is directed toward enabling the family to have space each evening for prayer and worship and I also find that my life seems directed toward God always even if it is not what might be called 'spiritual' in the way we think of monks or nuns (ahh even the thought of such a blessed space in life is calming!)

Friday, July 10, 2009

Spirituality

What is offensive to God in our lifestyle?

What keeps us on track?

seriously it seems to me that we can easily say 'knowing I am forgiven and knowing I am loved' but does guilt come in there at all? I think for me yes it does. I remember thinking that now my Grandad is in heaven he can see all I do and must be sooo disapointed.

I am sure that with spirituality comes this discussion that it is also part of what keeps us on track.
Ephesians 4:30-32

30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Spirituality
'TUNING IN'

I don't know who this man is but thank you for looking like an alien with antenae!


I recognised that I often place people, situations, events and journeys into God's hand. However I have found that I do this as if I am responding to a prompting rather than a habit. I do not leave the house for each journey and pray or think of a family member and pray, rathar I seem to recognise a deep inner yearning and respond by tuning in and then speaking aloud my prayer.


I am learning alot about my 'tuning in' as I am trying to consider these three aspects I mentioned. It is odd that I do not often get any spontanious outburst of joy or praise when I enjoy nature.. I know I am a very practical person but as I recognise how I do seem to 'tune in' to a deeper spiritual yearning I would have thought if I were a 'spiritual' person i would be blessed by nature in the way I know many people are. Maybe one day.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Spirituality

I have been asked about my spirituality. umm... initially I took this to be to which spirituality did I feel most at home. But over time I have begun to think that actually spirituality is more multidimensional.

here is what I have come up with so far:
1. What helps you keep to keep focused and draw near to God and his ways.
2. What feeds your soul and lifts your spirit
3. What enables you to keep in tune with the Holy Spirit.

I am sure there are more aspects that I will come across. But for now I am trying to discover within each day what I find in these three areas. Since I do not always get to do a conventional Bible study these days with all that is going on in the house this will be an interesting exploration.

Monday, May 18, 2009

politics

I have always found it difficult to vote for a political party. I actually find it hard to even think that about how they are ruling and governing our country and lives. I prefur to hope, hope they are doing a good job! I am sure there are others who also live in hope, actually putting more trust in hope than politicians!

I have the usual thoughts 'Why bother when they often fail to follow through on political promises and change what they say' We even had a party to ended up ruling in a very different way to the Said way they would lead - in effect they swapped sides! I cannot even be bothered to ask 'Who is really saying what and why are they saying it'. But once past all the blurrrrrb and distructive banter what lies behind these men and women who want to rule? Do I care?? actually no I have lost incentive!

In the books of Samuel we read of the forming of Israel, from a tribe to an powerful people. We read of their rulers, kings and prophets, armies and families and about their dealings with others.

I am not sure that if we look back through our modern history we will find that God is a continual thread that runs through our political system but from within the stories of the Bible the common thread is that God is placed at the centre of both the lives and the hopes those involved.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

The Significance of Silence

Last sunday John T gave a sermon from when Jesus stood on trial and was silent.  There is a power in silence.  Jesus had shared his power, his love, his ministry, his teaching - now he stood silent before his accusers.  If he had spoken he would not have been  believed.

On Tuesday Val P gave a meditation which focused also on silence.  She read from a quote from Geronimo.
'We had no churches, no religious organizations, no sabbath day, no holidays, and yet we worshiped.  Sometimes the whole tribe would assemble and sing and pray; sometimes a smaller number; perhaps only two or three.  The songs had a few words, but were not fromal.  the singer would occasionally put in such words as he wished instead of the usual tone sound.  Sometimes we prayed in silence; sometimes each prayed aloud;  sometimes an aged person prayed for all of us.  As other times one would rise and speak to us of our duties to each other and to Usen.  Our services were short.  Geronimo (Apache Cheif 1829-1909)

Another quote is from Luther Standing Bear (1868?-1939)
'Conversation was never begun at one, nor in a hurried manner.  No one was quick with a question, no matter how important, and no one was pressed for an answer.  A pause giving time for thought was the truly courteous way of beginning and conducting a conversation.  Silence was meaningful with the Lakota, and his granting a space of silence to the speech-maker and his own moment of silence before talking was done in the practice of true politeness and regard for the rule that, 'thought comes before speech'.

and the last meditation was by a man named Leslie D. Weatherhead from his book 'A Private House of Prayer' 1958.    It was an extended reading so i am not going to write it all out but it was really sharing an experience of silence which impacted his life.  Sometimes a sound interprets the silence. The sound emphasise's the silence which made him feels so wrapped up in the presence of God and he did not want to loose it.  He then writes 'I felt that I understood a little better that strange experience of Elijah.  After the wind and the earthquake and fire, he heard  'a still small voice,' or if we interpret more literally,  'a sound of gentle stillness.'  The sound interpreted the silence. [...] Some words of Pascal come to the mind in this regard.  'All the evils of life,' he said, 'have fallen upon us because men will not sit alone quietly in a room.'  

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

wonder and awe

communion today was about 'alleluia'. The awe and the baited breath.

This service really spoke to me. Throughout easter we consider the majesty and the mystery of the act of Jesus but we hardly consider the 'angel song' alleluia.

From the sermon my mind began to think of the itmes that people have tried to challenge the traditional church by saying in effect 'you dont even know why you do this'.... Well todays sermon spoke far more as it came from an attitude of saying 'look what you have, be amazed and dare to gaze upon your God and consider his mighty works'.

To compare the two types of sermons on its own does not I suppose relate but for the idea that to speak to people and bring them to a point of desiring to know more and desiring to meet God comes from the speaker knowing to whom and about what they are speaking.

I have been encouraged by my spiritual director and my DDO to read books from outside my comfort zone. I am a well rounded reader anyway, but I dont get to read much so I hope that I will be able to read books that will educate me on traditions in their variety so that I may enrich others.

One of the wonderful things about todays communion was the sense of closeness one experienced though the theme was wonder and awe of an amazing God.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

go go go see what I see

Mark 10:13 One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.

14 When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. 15 I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” 16 Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them.

Parents brought .....yes it is up to us to bring our children. They may have faith, they may have a natural instinct but there is a responsibility and love that we have as parents and guardians that gives us the ability to bring our young to Jesus. We are faced with the questions they have. We are the ones who should be considering how their lives are going and what would help them to keep 'placing God in the centre of their lives'.

If we are not helping them learn this fundamental aspect of our lives in Christ then we are failing them miserably.In this passage I can almost see the children reaching out the Lord with all their hope and excitment focused on Christ with the encouragement and joy of their parents behind them.

This week at Hampton Court Palace I witnessed a lady pushing her two children forward to get their photo taken with the 'King' Henry the VIII. Go Go Go she forcefully said as she pushed her two children forward. They did not want to move forward, they hesitated and resisted! not the picture we like to imagine of children moving forward to touch Jesus! Yes there is a simplicity that children have but there is also a focus. The children that were brought forwrd to Jesus needed healing, much like the blind man on the road or the woman who bled. All these people believed that Jesus could heal them and all moved toward him.

My prayer is that we will help our children gain a love and faith in Jesus rather than give up once they are to old for bedtime stories. Once they move into the zone of questioning we know they also move into the zone of awe wondering. Just as we nudge each other and say 'wow' so our children can join with us and nudge us and we all can say wow together as we build our knowledge and relationship with Jesus who we need to be moving toward. As we look out for where he is then we can be sure that we will see him at work and be moving forward without hesitation or resistance as our faith will be built and will be stong enough to say to others 'Go Go Go, See what I see - The Kingdom of God'.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Mark 10
13 One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.
14 When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. 15 I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” 16 Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them.

Parents brought .....yes it is up to us to bring our children. They may have faith, they may have a natural instinct but there is a responsibility and love that we have as parents and guardians that gives us the ability to bring our young to Jesus. We are faced with the questions they have. We are the ones who should be considering how their lives are going and what would help them to keep 'placing God in the centre of their lives'. If we are not helping them learn this fundamental aspect of our lives in Christ then we are failing them miserably.

In this passage I can almost see the children reaching out the Lord with all their hope and excitment focused on Christ with the encouragement and joy of their parents behind them.

This week at Hampton Court Palace I witnessed a lady pushing her two children forward to get their photo taken with the 'King' Henry the VIII. Go Go Go she forcefully said as she pushed her two children forward. They did not want to move forward, they hesitated and resisted! not the picture we like to imagine of children moving forward to touch Jesus!

Yes there is a simplicity that children have but there is also a focus. The children that were brought forwrd to Jesus needed healing, much like the blind man on the road or the woman who bled. All these people believed that Jesus could heal them and all moved toward him.

My prayer is that we will help our children gain a love and faith in Jesus rather than give up once they are to old for bedtime stories. Once they move into the zone of questioning we know they also move into the zone of awe wondering. Just as we nudge each other and say 'wow' so our children can join with us and nudge us and we all can say wow together as we build our knowledge and relationship with Jesus who we need to be moving toward. As we look out for where he is then we can be sure that we will see him at work and be moving forward without hesitation or resistance as our faith will be built and will be stong enough to say to others 'Go Go Go, See what I see - The Kingdom of God'.

Thursday, March 12, 2009



We have been watching 'The Golden Compass' as I want to watch it with a girls youth group. The issues it raises are vast and discussion thoughts abound but my mind keeps mulling over the authors hate of the Christian faith.

I want to investigate it more but when you hear rumours it makes it hard to watch or read things without those thoughts intruding on the way you interpret things for yourself.

It seems to me that though witches are considered 'good' and the use of a compass to interpret thoughts could be viewed as magic and the emporium may represent God. The overall message seems to me still one to do with people and good will. Even the aim of the adventure is to keep 'freewill'. Surely this is a message if not of faith of hope and relationships.

Our relationship with Christ is like the relationship that the people in the story have with their deamons. It is one which enables us to be whole and to live in a relationship which otherwise would not exist and we know more about God through Christ.