Thursday, July 16, 2009

Prayer is an area of spirituality that I feel drawn to very deeply.

When i was at university (in 1994) there was a call for people who had felt called, during a conference, to receive the gift of intercession to stand. I did feel called but my neighbour stood and he was one of those guys, you just knew would stand and so being me I did not stand. The leaders then asked for others sitting nearby one of those called to stand and pray for them. So I felt I should stand and ask God to bless him either way. Well I remember that as I was praying I felt a blessing a definite sensation and as I prayed I wondered if this was for me or whether it was for this guy. So I prayed if it was for me then the desire and leading to intercede would continue over the years.

Since this time I cannot say that I have entered into the ministry of intercessor but the reminder is always there and I have at times interceded in very powerful ways. I think actually there is confession that I have to own if I am to consider my way faithfully.

It is that while in groups I feel very comfortable praying there are times that I feel that to enter into prayer individually can be a very dangerous thing to do.

It seems to me that to pray is believe and to believe is to place oneself in a dilemma.

Either one ignores the whole spiritual world and thus will never get the whole picture or one has to face the issues head on and that perhaps that means stepping into something that is beyond our control and is worrying for each individual in different ways.

I always feel that if I pray I am placing my family in danger. This has always been my fear since I gave birth to my oldest who is now 11.
This post has gone on a while so I end with an encouraging note to myself:

Psalm 23

1 THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.

2 He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters.(A)

3 He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake.

4 Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with [a] oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.

6 Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.

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