Monday, December 27, 2010

this simply stands alone!
Mary a girl,
Mary at home,
Mary with her life before her.

Rosanna a girl,
Rosanna at home,
Rosanna with her life before her.

Mary listening to her call,
Mary pondering these things,
Mary remaining faithful and following the various directions given her.

Rosanna listening to her call,
Rosanna pondering these things,
Rosanna remaining faithful and following the various directions given her.

Mary a woman,
Mary in the world,
Mary living a life not making a deal for eternal life,
just simply following what she felt was right,
and this happened to be what she felt God had called her to do.
How amazing to life a life like that and it still be reflected upon!

Rosanna a woman,
Rosanna in the world,
Rosanna living a life not making a deal for eternal life,
just simply following what she feels is right,
and this happens to be what she feels God has called her to do.
How amazing to live a life like that even if it is a delusion.

Mary a lady,
Able to reflect on a life lived in service and obedience,
Mary continuing to love, live and reflect on eternity.

Rosanna still a woman,
but in the humanistic, agnostic world
struggling to live a life of faithful, loving service and obedience.
Rosanna continuing to love with God's creative love, living and reflecting not only on eternity but also on what others offer in the face of this world and eternity.

I choose to follow in the footsteps of Mary,
She accepted,
She experienced,
She remained open to possibilities,
She lived her life
in peace,
growing knowledge, experience and eternity.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

asher has two more primary areas of cancer. more and more. it now means he has to have the fully bone removed and replaced by one from the leg. so in for the long haul in Jan.

Dread to think what the diary will look like!

My life needs to find a rythm. The idea from the last post really resonated with me and helped me to realise that daily prayer is part of a rythm in life which helps to form a base line.

Where do look within myself to find how what feeds me. I get ideas and thoughts but find that my time is taken up so quickly that i do not get time to discover them more deeply.

If the Spirit helps us to express ourselves before God then we need to be able to leave space that will enable us to find out and discover what is to be expressed before God.

I think i will start by using the david heywood study and use the thoughts and scripture from that and reflect on it.

In Jan I am going to see the bishop on 17th and asher has a major op on the 12th.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

In liverpool at last for the start of our Christmas, with a hospital app scheduled in for tommorrow.

I decided i would take a few days while here to spend time with God away from the family as I have found it so hard recently. The cathedral is not far so i am delighted to be able to try and use it. On their webpage I found an interpretation of a wonderful verse;;;;

'Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace." (Jesus' words in Matthew 11:28 - The Message)

i usually am not a fan of the message as it uses intellectual words i do not understand not being very educated. But this give a wonderful rhythm and spin which forces one to take the verse seriously and personally.

Friday, December 17, 2010

been so busy closing up groups for christmas etc.

look forward to a tidy house and going away for christmas. hope we get snowed in away from home!

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Back to the Anglican Covenant.

section 3 uses the term 'instruments' I wonder what are those underlying instruments it talks about.

Sunday, December 05, 2010

tonight i took a rare coffee on the sofa and watched some of undercover boss USA'Churchhill Downs Racecourse'.
Bill,the man undercover said 'this is a people business and to run it well means to know how the people are feeling'.

He concluded with a thought I am impressed with: 'sometimes when you get a little bit personal you loose alittle bit of control but sometimes its worth it.'

What I am impressed with is that there needs to be a balance between operating a business using the impersonal spreadsheets and the personal understanding of people's feelings. Bill ensured that those he came to recognise worked hard to exand the business were enabled to work harder by allowing them what they needed.

I was also really impressed that those working for the business were not manipulative or selfseeking. It was amazing how they saw what they did as something that benefited them because they loved doing it but also as something that benefited the company. They did not at all have aims to gain means for themselves and this really amazed me.

I realise that some people work because they love it and it is something that enables them to be more of who they are. I know many people who work because it enables them to be in power, or gain money, or self fulfillment but to work because you love it is very special.

vocation is an amazing thing.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

So my wonderful always and forever has two out of three biopsies which are cancerous.

But I think we both feel relieved and grateful. Somehow we had an uncomfortable feeling that he was unwell. I have known he is unwell, there is something about him when he has cancer that I pick up on. A tiredness and inability to be involved. I am so grateful also that our dear surgeon found the spots and can and is willing to lazer them off.

I asked if this were a beginning of the end really and in another year would asher get another recurrence. The surgeon said it was not definite and so there is hope that after this bout it may not return. He has had one lady with 7 returns so asher is one of the record breakers! He is up there with the best of them but hopefully will not beat the record!

To tell others so that they can pray for us and understand how we need to focus our lives at the moment is really hard because illness effects people so very deeply. For some it reminds them of the pain and torment they went through with a loved one and it wells up in them all the memories and feelings of loss if their loved one did not survive.

For others illness shakes their faith as they struggle to comprehend love and pain, justice and suffering. Their view of God is challenged at a very deep level.

I suppose I have to finish this off with Asher and my view of God. God continually is alive to us, revealing his love, guidance and care. We rest in Him and hold on to his promise to be with us in all things and therefore we take our eyes off the illness, worry, doubt and allow our hearts to comforted in such a deep and powerful way that we are reassured that God is an awesome God.