The depth of God is so incredible.
Confidence is one issue that has come up in this during this process. I am confident and outgoing but underneith I have real issues that I am going to upset others, that i am going to ruffle feathers, that am going to disturb others in someway. I know this is because Ihave tried to be myself and found that others are unable to cope and so Ihave retracted and am always careful around people.
I put others first and hide myself. In doing that I have lost 'understanding and knowing' myself.
I have been so relieved that I feel more secure about myself and this has led in turn to me considering where God is at work in me at the moment. I am so often busy looking at where God is present in others or in the community that I never think of myself in that equation.
This is why I say God is so incredibly deep. There are different levels in that depth and I feel I have been splashing about onthe top and as I had been a deep sea diver it was fustrating that I felt my tools did not allow me to go deeper into the water.
I now feel that rather than equipment I am learning a new style of swimming in the deep sea. I feel I am learning 'free range' swimming. I don't know what you would call it in technical terms but that is the best explanation i can give.