Saturday, September 04, 2010

What are you confident in?

This is a question that came up yesturday when I met my Spiritual Director. I lack confidence and this is such an issue that when I talk to people about my calling I feel terrible that I should even be daring to state these things as if they might be fact because somehow I am sure they will not believe me and will be looking and thinking of me as stupid and childish.

It is horrid to live with this but I have to keep plodding through and know that God will enable to deal with these things.

When I thought about the question I know I am confident in God but answer has risen others. So I won't begin that journey yet so I sidetrack to my logic...

I am confident in my gifts. I am good at being a pastor, I can meet with people and connect with them where they are. My life has not been a bed of flower petels more a bed of roses with the thorns attached so I am able to sympathise, empathise and encourage or build up.

I am good at seeing where God maybe and leading a way to be there. For example in a village we are now I hope that by beginning a playgroup we as a christian community maybe able to help families and network in new ways.

Interpreting scripture - which my SD said is teaching.


Then I realise that I am confident in things people have told me about myself that are true in an obvious way i.e they match my gifts so I can see that they have identified this. My parents have never encouraged me in things yet after leading a communion service they were excited that this is what I should be doing. This was it.

So I need to hold onto the things I am confident in. I would be wonderful if we could hold up a mirror before God and see our image as he see's us - well in part.

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