I have been struggling to get the house tidy and kept clean and clear so that my husband will be able to feel that there is nothing for us all to moan about after his treatments for cancer. Today I just want to collapse and do my own thing. I want to get done all the study that is rushing through my mind and I want to do all the preparation for my meeting with the DDO in a couple of weeks.

Running a house I wonder how on earth I will be able to actually be out at meetings and services and praying with people and sorting parish paper work and organising people and preparing for sermons and talks and all the other fly by the hoof stuff that will come up when running a parish... I can only say thankfully that is not for another few years!

Someone asked me this week why I felt called to ordination and you know I wish I could give a really succinct and meaningfully deep answer that made me more than others go 'ohhhh yes of course'! but of couse it is not like that for me and those 'wow' moments that I could speak of would probably make people go 'uhhh' rather than 'ohhh'. It always seems to make me sad though and I wish I could just discover what or why that is. sigh.