I have been so encouraged. since my last post we decided to sit down in the evenings and have a prayer and study time with the kids. it went so well I had to be amazed not only encouraged.

The children actually came and asked if they could read to us because a cool book '50 of the Wierdest Bible Stories' had given them half the story and they had to read the other half from the bible.

We all sat down and hence were able to do the study that we had planned for the period from Christmas day through the 6th Jan.
We decided we would use the Catholic song 'The Twelve Nights of Christmas' .... My true love sent to me...

It has been a fruitful study and well recomended to anyone.

The children have been taken up their aunts and so we are left with baby mima and a messy messy house. We have taken time to tidy and to sort out the finances.

We have debts that we are trying very lazily to sort out and this year really needs to be the year we get it sorted. It is not that we spend too much it is that we purchase things without planning and saving and this includes things like the window replacements, kitchen etc when we were moving house.

We have also realised that we have not had the time to sit down together and really sort out where we want things to go and how we are getting things done. We seemt o just let life take us along its path and then hope that we can bring the children up in a way that is not too far from our hopes for them.

We have realised that this is really not working and we need to come up with a better plan.
stand strong on a decision especially if we feel the Holy Spirit is guiding that decision... Recognise that we need to pray as we make decisions where we feel the Holy Spirit maybe involved.

Have regular times for family prayer and Sabbath as we have been sporadic.

Ensure that the kids both study each evening and we are involved with their studies.

have a regular meal plan to save money

spend more time having fun with the kids

pocket money and banking plans

I did a talk for the crib service which did not go as I had planned. But I can only hope that for some a message sparked a thought which God may prick for his glory.

I need to practice talking and doing 'sermons' but it is difficult to get time. I wonder how others do this. I feel that with time and practice I will be ok, which is a good thing!

This is what I hope actually came across:What was actually said:

We have made these lanterns and they can hopefully hang on your Christmas trees as a reminder of what we have been thinking about this evening. We hope that the Light of Jesus, the light that Jesus can give our lives will be with us this Christmas.

It can get so busy with making the Christmas dinner, the clearing up, the snacks and all the other things that go on with all the stress that we end up not having the Joy and the peace we hoped and looked forward to all this time. We gear up for this one day and then it passes without us actually having any peace or joy, we miss the kids opening their presents.

We hope really that you as families will support and help each other this Christmas so that you can spend time together. Jesus is that light that can help and be there with you even if you are spending Christmas alone, no matter what stresses or what Christmas may be for you this year we hope that– the real meaning of Christmas, the life and light of Jesus, will be with you.

When we were in Norhtern Ireland we were guided by God we feel to read the Old Testament in the light of its meaning to the Jews. So we spent time trying to discover what meaning the Jewish people took from books, chapters and verses.

It was a wondrful time and what we learned will continue to be our aim and foundation in our family life.

The Sabbath being one of the most cherished parts of our week.

Asher and I have been talking tonight as I was asked by the DDO what would your gospel message be if someone asked. My reply was I don't have a gospel message as such.

This is because i feel that it is not my gospel message it is God who has a message and we are those who know and love him. So my message has to be that which God is speaking. And to whom I am speaking.

So I think that as asher said if someone asks this of you your best answer is 'I am my gospel message. I do not have my gospel message as I am not God. It cannot be my message and though I am a rough picture and one in the making I am part of Gods gospel message.

Asher and I are thinking over our times in the various places that we have lived and worshipped.

something I want to really remember is that:

we enjoyed being part of the Baptist fellowship so much. One aspect I really appreciated while with them is that they always approached the family rather than the individual in a family.

I thank the Baptist fellowship so much for all they have gaven us in the different areas of the country in which have lived. I hope to take all they have given us and hope to continue to reflect on what we have learnt.

Creativity
Children's work
prophecy
fellowship
preaching
women in ministry
activity of all members in life of church in community.

Not getting to church today I read through in the Church times by Martin Warner. he mentions that the media are able to judge people without actually taking responsibility for their words face to face.

I am placing this into the context of the family, both extended and nuclear. We can find the family situation either a wonderful and blessed haven or a tense and fragile see-saw. Perhaps part of the makeup of families is that our human desire to judge is so raw with those who know us so well. From my experience family members though they do know you well often miss very important aspects of our character and make up.

Perhaps is is partly this that moves us to judge and allow our opinions and 'wisdom' be known.

Jesus said about his own family 'I do not have a family' he said about his good friend 'get behind me satan'. He certainly did not mix his words. Of course we need to watch what we say and when we say it but surely then it is our behaviour also that needs to be slow and kind and respectful especially around family. Hard though it may be it is a lesson I need to learn.

Judge as others would judge you.

The Mahmoods:
Thank you to Badri and Ruhamah for hospitality and care.
with love

An experience vs Being Quietly Bold

I went to a coffee shop this week that I thought was going to have some Christian books. I went to look for Christmas gifts. It was a shame that though I think it was christian run there were no christian books it was all rather materialistic useless stuff. It got me thinking how often we dub down our faith so that people will 'enter'.

It reminds me of 'Why Go To Church' somewhere Radcliffe mentions that our society is now an 'experience' culture. We do not just go shopping we want a 'shopping experience'. When thinking like this how easy is it for us to try and get an 'experience' for people.

I am suddenly faced with a myriad of ideas for events things I would love to do but then I realise that this is not what I would like to produce at all. In fact I realise that if I were a producer then perhaps I would try but as it is I am best in my lounge praying and learning about how I can be bold from my own faith and experience rather than trying to meet a need in a culture that I am not sure is a lasting trend.

Whether it a lasting trend or not I feel that to be quietly bold and ready to spend time with people is better than producing 'experiences' that attract people.

I have always found it very odd that Christians look at nature and consider that its awesomeness reflects God and that in turn tells everyone about God. I have just not connected with this idea at all. Yes I delight in nature and as a Christian I give joy and thanks to God and perhaps with some effort I could meditate and find God in everything. But to think that nature thus tells everyone about God and that somehow they deny God because they know him through nature just does not resonate with me at all.

I once went to a led quiet day where the leader used photos and facts about cells to help us wonder at God.. This was an amazing day and helped me but I still do not see that it would necessarily help a non believer/non christian (or what ever one may label ones self as) believe or recognise God.

As Christians look at nature and worship God for creation, perhaps then we worship the wonderfully created human being. My concern then it is that it is easy to sit back and view ourselves as a wonderfully created beings and in doing this we are able to fact loose the reality of human nature and the responsibility we can very easily set aside.

How does my life reflect something different that others recognise as something, attractive and perhaps from God or inspired by God?

Not only this but if my life does reflect something different then does this inspire in others a strong enough reaction that they want to dig deeper?

To be very honest I have to answer I don't think so.

Yes people may sometimes see something that is attractive and different, but it is not deep enough or consistent enough that it is inspiring.

I suppose then this has to be my prayer and my challenge - that God will mould me and make me into something that he has designed.

Spirituality

Asher and I were discussing spirituality and we came to a picture of a room with different walls.

The corner which holds each wall represents God one wall represents the dimension of ministry which focuses on those outside of the church and the other wall represents those within the church.

If a ministers focus is on those outside the church then surely they could be church army, evangelist, lay worker and if their focus is on those within the church then they could be sunday school workers, reader or LMN.

A vicar needs to be more focused on God and have an ability to encourage and equip congregations in their giftings and interests.

I realise this is a very simplistic outlook or way of putting things but this is the basic outline of our conversation and thought.

Spirituality

Space
I have begun to use the end of day feeding time as my space for prayer. This time is quiet and everyone remembers that we really want baby to sleep so they are all mindful of staying out of my way! So this is a safe time for me to pray.

Spirituality

Thinking about my spirituality I have been realising that although my prayer life may not be perfect. Though I may not be settled in my routine or style of spirituality my whole life is focused toward and within and around God.

Even the question of why God and what is God are continually encompassed within my being.


This is why to work in anything other than the church drives me into areas where I do not seem able to function to the best for those around me or for myself. My skills are not utilized and I continually engage with how I might be able to bring the church into a place where these people might utilize and engage with it.

Prayer
Spirituality

In a book I am reading 'Being a Priest Today' here is a quote:

'There is no way round the fact that if we want a life of prayer

then the only way to achieve it is by praying.'

Spirituality

I have been thinking more about how I can begin to pray and find my space with God and why I am finding this so difficult at the moment.

I am realising that I am a creative person and when I pray with others there are opportunities to be creative. We had an accompanied prayer week in which a variety of creative projects were available for us to use during the open times. At each period I discovered that my mind really soaked up the creative opportunity and I found myself reaching into a mental arena that I had not expected.

I wonder if perhaps I need to begin being creative in my prayer life somehow.

"Spirituality has to do with our experiencing of God and with the transformation of our consciousness and our lives as outcomes of that experience" - Richard O'Brien, in Catholicism, p. 1058

transforming

What are the ways in which I find my life continuing to be transformed because of the experience I have of God?

At the moment I find this difficult. But as the months go on I hope that I will find windows where the light is beginning to shine through because at the moment the more I rub the dirty glass I find I am just smudging the dirt in more. Maybe I need a new cloth but I am just not sure what will work.

This has helped me to realise that I am not patient. If one thing does not work I do not work at it or methodically try things out. I just give up and wait for something to come along that does work and for that dirt to rub out on its own.

I need discipline.
I need discipline.

Spirituality

Being spiritual is using a dictionary.com definition: closely akin in interests, attitude, outlook, etc.

When I make a new friend and we begin to get close and discover our interests are similar there are really special moments which I really enjoy.

The honeymoon period of being a Christian! This is often a period that people speak of as one which we look back on with abandonment and sheer joy in the 'spiritual' sense. I still experience moments of this joy as I grow in my faith. Because each time I realise that I have the same interests as an amazing and kindly God... It is sheer joy.

Spirituality
Prayer is an area of spirituality that I feel drawn to very deeply.

When i was at university (in 1994) there was a call for people who had felt called, during a conference, to receive the gift of intercession to stand. I did feel called but my neighbour stood and he was one of those guys, you just knew would stand and so being me I did not stand. The leaders then asked for others sitting nearby one of those called to stand and pray for them. So I felt I should stand and ask God to bless him either way. Well I remember that as I was praying I felt a blessing a definite sensation and as I prayed I wondered if this was for me or whether it was for this guy. So I prayed if it was for me then the desire and leading to intercede would continue over the years.

Since this time I cannot say that I have entered into the ministry of intercessor but the reminder is always there and I have at times interceded in very powerful ways. I think actually there is confession that I have to own if I am to consider my way faithfully.

It is that while in groups I feel very comfortable praying there are times that I feel that to enter into prayer individually can be a very dangerous thing to do.

It seems to me that to pray is believe and to believe is to place oneself in a dilemma.


Either one ignores the whole spiritual world and thus will never get the whole picture or one has to face the issues head on and that perhaps that means stepping into something that is beyond our control and is worrying for each individual in different ways.

I always feel that if I pray I am placing my family in danger. This has always been my fear since I gave birth to my oldest who is now 11.
This post has gone on a while so I end with an encouraging note to myself:

Psalm 23

1 THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.

2 He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters.(A)

3 He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake.

4 Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with [a] oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.

6 Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.