Sunday, October 31, 2010

I have finalised my evangelism and mission reflection:

Reflect on an aspect of mission and evangelism related to your own experience and to which you feel drawn as part of your calling.

I am very fortunate to have been involved in many churches due to our moving house and area a lot. I have been able to be part of many evangelistic efforts and seeing how they suit the place and the people they are reaching out to. I have also been able to see how different churches fulfil their mission to the local community or wider world. Each place also has its own micro socio-climate. This has taught me that each place is unique having its own way of being and therefore it is vital for us to listen and discover before acting. Rather than create mission strategies and evangelistic events we can learn to be a part of where God is and what is happening with a people or a place and thus build-up, encourage and enable.

I have found that in places where people pray as individuals and as whole fellowships there is an attitude of discovery to find out what God is up to; an attitude that is open to new things and new ways in which God is beginning to work. The church and organisations have ‘survived’ change and though we can find it threatening and difficult we need to embrace change with strategy, communication, enthusiasm and humility being led by God.

I have recognised that I am not content to settle with an evangelistic strategy just because it is working ok or some people are happy with what they are doing. If I can see ways for it to open out and become more then I begin to ask God and others if they can see ways for what is happening to accomplish more, if needed. When we lived in Wells, Somerset a twice monthly children’s craft and bible story evening worked really well. I felt however that somehow the parents needed to be engaged and so we began to offer coffee before the end so parents could come back and have a coffee while the children had the story read to them. This helped when the next holiday club came round as many more families attended the church service which ended the week. It also began to allow a space where bridges could be built which encouraged the parents to feel they were part of what was happening in the church.

Similarly when living in Cranbrook, Kent I was very privileged to be ask to lead a Pilgrims group which consisted of mostly older ladies and a couple of men. They were described to me as the underpinning of the church a group that had met for eight years. Just as I took over they had experienced dramatic change as members of their very stable group either moved or had died. A wonderful curate who had led them through a very difficult period of the churches life was also moving to a permanent role in another church which I think they had not thought possible. I was asked to pray about taking leadership of this group or the group would close. After sometime of praying with no real guidance I felt the only way I could know was if God gave me direction for the group and the purpose for their being.

Instantly I felt that the group needed to know it was alive. It had and they had a role to play in Gods church. They were the ones who could show others what it meant to live out our lives in service to God, carrying our cross for love and wisdom of God to be known in our community. To be the group who were able though they were old to be there and encourage others as they work to be involved and be humble with the wisdom of life of their side.

We spent another amazing year, helping out with costumes for the Christmas nativity, lent meals, imagine a 94 year old making a huge pot of soup, it was so exciting and encouraging for us all. God was at work in our daily lives, through our prayers and in our studies we learnt so much that the Word came alive at each meeting spurring us on that we are never too old to share and learn, the Scriptures are exciting, funny, challenging and always new.

When I left I was not worried that the group would be fearful of change because they had grown in God that year to a point of being expectant with a deep sense of trust and knowing God is in control lets see what and where He is leading.

Friday, October 29, 2010

I don't mean this picture as a political statement!

DDO meeting tonight. This is perhaps the last meeting I will have with my wonderful DDO. She is amazing and I really have appreciated her gentleness and warmness.

At the meeting we discussed spirituality and as mentioned in a earlier post (that i have begun to tag) God has led me to pastures new in this area and I feel free and open to what and where God is leading. I know i am going to be discovering much in this area.

We also discussed what it is to be a priest. The only real sentence i can forge from deep within myself is that I wish and feel I am part of a puzzle. the puzzle piece which will enable people to see that actually that fits and God is part of their puzzle and helps them to see the picture more.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

We are always searching and becoming. Growing and seeking just like a flower being watered and nurtured by the environment around us. We can trust the gardener to help us but we need to be strong and strain to find the sun. The harsher our environment the harder we need to push our way up to find the sun and the deeper our roots need to be buried so that we can find nutrition.

I thank God I have not had an easy life.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

house is clear and mima still got hold of superglue. Should I give up now!
I think this picture shows the best plan to keep her safe!

I know of a lady who put velcro the babies babygrow and the wall. It worked!

Monday, October 25, 2010

It is funny that over the last week I have really had a mountain top experience (oh well maybe not mountain top but perhaps wellies on and a jumping over a cow pat kind of experience) regarding my spirituality. I have come to point where I am at peace with where I am spiritually and I really look forward to embracing and moving forward in this.

I had always been reluctant to be 'established' where I feel comfortable as it is not only fashionable to be evangelical but it is also very hard to be immersed if you disagree with spirituality and theology with those around you if you are more 'traditional'.

not sure if I make sense but over the last 10 years i have found this really hard and have not found a way to build on the foundation or build a foundation where i feel God is leading me.

Well I think I feel a break through and find myself at last yearning for God in sundry places!
it has taken along time for me to think this through. If look down through my blog it was ages ago i began to think about spirituality and though I may read or question it comes a point when God seems to shift something inside me at the right time that I realise and can be aware of my own spirituality - to some extent.

In 4 days I meet my DDO for the last time to discuss all this. What apt timing. Such an amazing God. Thanks Lord.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I watched the Big Silence on bbc2 iplayer and TBH i found it hard to speak afterward. my husband and i just sat in silence

I have wanted to visit Beuno's in Wales. A friend of mine goes and says she can hear the noice as she passes down past Bristol to Wells our old home town.

As i look through images to find a picture that suits my feeling on silence I realise how frightening silence is to many. It is a painful torture in many ways. If you are abused you are often silenced through fear to reveal your pain. If you are angry or upset about something that others find acceptable you are silenced for fear of ridicule. If you have been bad you are sent the naughty corner where you are forced to be silent.

Silence can be such a negative that we become used to the thought that this is something that should be avoided. It is best to be busy so that the thoughts are not processed. Buried deep so that their noise has no resonance in our daily lives.

Friday, October 22, 2010

My Spiritual Director had asked me to reflect on the passage of mary and martha. Today I revealed to her that my reflections had led me to feel that mary and martha might reflect one person who on the one hand has control or needs control over everything and on the other has let go of the control.

We reflected that I feel the need to control things in my family life but always miss the mark. It does not seem to matter what I do things do not run the way I forge them out to. it is as if things fight against the very foundation of what I hope to achieve.

As I reflected she reminded me that I had said things felt much lighter at home as the house was clearer and getting sorted slowly. She wondered if perhaps half of this lightness might be that actually I had let go of the buttons and had relaxed about being in control.

I laughed at this point as I realised I had let go of the family and decided to just let them all do what they like and facilitate rather than try and get us to run as a family in the way I think a family should be. For example this evening we were going to have a sabbath but hubby took the shopping list and went shopping! I had hoped to just go in the morning all of us and have a coffee and cake as a family time together doing something different. but hey this is what I have let go of. But i have taken total control of the house. The lawn, the garage, the attic, next the finances and all the time the cleaning. I had tried to get the whole family to do a bit each.

So in some ways i have let go but I feel that in a sad way. But perhaps it is right. the out come is certainly that I have more time and I can now see a way of me being able to move forward and have time to study!

I need to pray it through more though as it feels so sad. But then God let his son go.
Baptism and communion are the two sacrements
Which hold particular prominence in Anglican church.

I feel a weight has been lifted as I have managed to get two things done and the house is clean. I just have to keep going. i got in from doing the Bible study last night and did the washing up, laundry organised my sons pack lunch for his trip the Naze today ... opps forgot to dry and iron my sons uniform! bye.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Being locked out did make me realise that this whole process is not me alone. A separate thing I have to do and realise and discover for myself. This is a process that is part of my life. It is just one of the things within a huge list of things to do.

I have my sister and mum coming over in an hour so hoping they will encourage me!
But perhaps a list of things I need to do will help me get a focus and get things done and acheived.

I have a messy house to clear.
An attic to organise.
A lot of stuff to take to the dump
Clothes to sell or charity shop run
Garden to cut
Outdoor areas to clean and clear
Bible Study to organise
BAP to prepare for
Brownie meetings to plan for
Play group to run
Older Kids to buy boots for
Older kids to take to clubs
Older kids homework and homeschool to organise
Older kids music practice to encourage
Baby needs interaction and groups
Advent Service play to organise
Bonfire eve to organise and buy fireworks

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I have been really busy in the community over the past few months and this has been really good in helping me realise that my hope is to be part of the puzzle in peoples lives. The part that enables and enlightens them to draw close to the Christ within themselves, the Christ who is there in this world to be with them.

Drawing people through sacraments and mysteries, discussions and even meeting them in their joy or pain.